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There Are No Bears

Published at Women in Higher Education on May 31, 2019. My partner developed a system to help me cope. It’s simple. It’s all about bears. Really. When I started to panic about letting my work into the world (or anything else, minor or major, that I was afraid to do), he would say, “What’s the worst that […]

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Coming to Terms With Mental Illness

Published at Women in Higher Education on April 30, 2019. My periods of being low—which I had experienced for at least a decade—were longer and more intense. Sometimes, my mood lifted, and I kept frantically busy as if my life depended on it. The low always returned. And this time, I couldn’t shake it.

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Navigating (or Not) the Tightrope

Published at Women in Higher Education on March 1, 2019. I have been told I am difficult at work, in organizations and online and off. Men (and some women) called me difficult when I didn’t meet their expectations of how I should act or how women should act more generally. I was difficult because I stepped […]

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Failing Perfection

Published at Disability Acts on February, 14, 2019. I sighed and followed her. I found myself hoping again that she can avoid the pitfalls of being like me. Or that I can avoid the pitfalls of one of the adults who raised me.

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The Productivity Trap

Published at Women in Higher Education on February 1, 2019: By the end of the month, I would self‐assess and usually decide that I wasn’t living up to my true potential. I pushed myself harder. My worth was being determined by word counts and bylines. Being productive became what mattered most, even as I knew […]

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